Awkward Conversations at School, Part 2

(a warning for sexual slang terms in this post)

At our most recent Committee on Special Education (CSE) meeting day, we held a reevaluation for a young lady in 8th grade, T, who is classified as Emotionally Disturbed. Her special education teacher and Social Studies teacher, Mr. W, were in attendance. Mr. W is a distinguished African American guy in his early 30s who the students look up to as a mentor in the sense that he "got out" and "made something" of himself. He not only teaches Social Studies, but also life skills and lessons that meet the kids where they are. He's so well-spoken, I could listen to him talk all day (plus his voice is buttery smooth). But I digress...

Mr. W was telling the story about his first day back from medical leave and his first encounter with T:

Mr. W: "I was lecturing on the Civil War and how the slaves that could not escape to the North still supported the Northern soldiers in the South. I asked the class to tell me examples of this, and the students were discussing how the slaves sabotaged Confederate weapons, brought food and supplies to the Northern soldiers... all valid points. T responded, "Yeah mister, and they nutted in they food."

Me: 0_o

Mr. W: "The other students were appalled and didn't know what to say, and I have to admit, I was shocked as well..."

Social Worker, interrupting: "Wait, I'm sorry. What happened to their food?"

CSE Chairperson: "Yes, did she mean poison?"

Me (in head, hiding behind laptop): Oh no.

Mr. W: "Oh, um. [pause] Uh... they ejaculated in their food."

Social Worker and CSE Chairperson: "OH OMG!"

Sweet T, thank you for the spectacularly embarrassing laugh we all shared after that revelation. I don't think I've ever seen two naive older ladies in their 50s turn so red, though I probably shouldn't be proud of the fact that I knew it really meant. Chalk it up to experience working in the proverbial trenches! It sure broke up the exhausting monotony of a full day of CSE meetings...

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The One That Got Away

Since I work in a highly urban, diverse population, it's no question that we have a large refugee and immigrant population attending our schools. Our students speak over 75 different languages, from those as common as Chinese, French, and Russian, to the lesser known Karen, Dinga, Oromo, and Mai Mai.  There are certain buildings within the district that house the English as a Second Language, English Language Learners, or Limited English Proficiency (whichever you prefer) populations, where they not only receive assistance learning English and learning in their own language, but also social services and family supports.

One of our ESL buildings closed at the end of last school year, so the students were divided up between existing buildings where their needs could be met. My building, which is not an ESL building, took a lot of the students, all of them English language speakers. Except for one. M is a refugee student from Africa, and in addition to be an English Language Learner, he is also very learning disabled. He came over as part of the 15:1 class that we absorbed from the closed building.

Right away, I knew that we could not meet M's needs in the building as we have no ESL staff. I started emailing and called my principal, people in the Multilingual Education department, special education supervisors, and anyone who would listen. My principal emailed her supervisors about it and got no response. No one gave me an answer about what to do with M. I heard that there was no 15:1 at his grade level at any ESL buildings, that we needed to change his special education placement so he could get into a building with ESL, that we had to get an ESL teacher to come in to instruct him. Lots of no real help.

When we began our state review, I brought the concern up to the supervisor who came in. She started contacting many of the same people, including the head of the ESL program. It seemed like she would take care of it and find a placement for him, along with finding placements for all the other kiddos who were leaving us. Incorrect. M is still hanging out in our building, struggling with not only English, but in all academic areas. He's also been excessively absent from school, and due to the language barrier and the transient nature of many of our refugee families, his family is very difficult to get in touch with.

For all the kids that I was able to appropriately place this year, move into more suitable classrooms, and qualify for much needed services, I feel like I let M down. I have no experience working with families like M's, so it's tough for me to know where to start, aside from emailing all the game-makers to try and get this kiddo where he needs to be. Hopefully, next year if he's still here, there will be a 15:1 at his grade level in an ESL building that he can be moved to.

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You Can Ring My Bell

Staff reported today, and it was great to see my staffy friends! Lots of people were moved either in, out, or around my building, so there are lots of new assignments and grade level changes. Everyone seems to have those back-to-school jitters in the anticipation of seeing how the new school year goes. Love it!

I have a relatively twisted sense of humor, so I find things funny that most people don't. During my opening day chat today, I wanted to tell my co-workers that our CSE chairperson is out on medical leave, so they would be up to speed and know to come to me or Ms. B with any questions or concerns. Here's how it went:

Me: "You're probably wondering why Ms. B and I are up here and not MB. [somber face] MB went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and during a procedure, the doctor found a tumor in her colon that was cancerous...
**school bell system chimes through entire auditorium and cuts out my microphone, mid-serious talk**
Staff: "*GASP!* murmur, chatter, gasp, 'oh dear'"
Me: "... that was probably the worst timed interruption ever."

Hilarious, right?! No? Do I just enjoy awkward humor too much?

Regardless of the inconsiderate bell system, the rest of the opening day activities went well. Can't WAIT to see the kiddos tomorrow! I'm so glad that giddy, back to school feeling arrived.


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These Shoes Were Made for...

I'm going to digress from my typical school psych-y goodness to bring you this announcement:

I love shoes.

I wear heels to work virtually every day so I don't look like a 4th grader, since I'm practically 5'-nothing. I'm not the kind of gal who will splurge on a pair of kicks only to wear them a few times. I wear shoes into the ground, 'til I'm covering up scratches and smudges with Sharpie marker. I'm not the kind of gal who saves pennies (or blows a paycheck) for a pair of designer pumps I've been eyeing for months on end. I buy what catches my eye and heart, but stays within my budget... and I love a good coupon or sale. I'm not the kind of gal that sticks to conservative, ultra-fashionable (hah) footwear. I love color, patterns, prints, and bling!

A sampling of my favorites. Also, aren't my hardwood floors gorgeous?

I have a strange attachment to my shoes. Each pair tells a story and has a special meaning or memory for me and my career. Isn't it funny how we not only imprint memories to sounds and tastes, but also to clothes and shoes? Join me for an adventure down the rabbit hole and into my closet!

The Professionals

This black pair are from Bass Co. and are made of suede, so they're lovely and soft. They've gotten a lot of love, as you can see from the slight crack on the side. I wore these black beauties to my final internship interview. Every interview prior to that one had been unsuccessful and I was especially antsy before going because this site was my top choice for an internship (and, surprise, another large urban district). I was doing internship interviews in the winter and had been wearing black ankle boots with my black pant suit, but decided to switch up the footwear to these suede pumps. Mentally owing something to the shoes (I always feel like a powerhouse in good pumps... fear me), I walked into the interview feeling confident, and it went fantastically. It was the first interview I had a really good feeling about; there was great conversation with the panel and I felt like I nailed every question. I went away shortly after for the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) Conference in Boston and when I returned, I had the position. It was the absolute BEST internship I could've asked for!

The navy blue pair were purchased to match the navy blue skirt suit I bought when I graduated with my MA/AC to prepare for "real job" interviews. They're a no name brand from JC Penney's with a snakeskin pattern wrap over the toe. These shoes have a habit of destroying the back of my heels if I don't wear stockings with them, which I prefer not to do, so they don't get too much use. The first interview I wore these to was for a district in the southern tier of NY virtually in the middle of nowhere. It was a 50 minute drive on a blistering hot day in June and the air conditioning in my crappy old car was broken, so I drove in full professional gear and perfect hair and make-up with all the windows down going 60 mph the whole way. I was a hot mess upon arrival. Next, I wore these to interview for a position in the district where I did one of my practica. There's a lot of back story to this situation, but let's leave it at I was practically guaranteed this position as I would've been replacing my former supervisor. I didn't get it and had the blistered, broken heels and ego to prove it. They traveled with me later that month to an interview a couple hours away, where I discovered I was not a fan of what the district and interview team (which was uh, one person) turned out to be. Finally, these went with me to the mass interview day for my current district. As we know, that was a happy ending, so they were part of the celebration dinner that Boyfriend and I had out downtown once the papers were signed.

The Nose-Dive

These leather shoes were my first "fun" purchase after getting my current position. They're from Nine West and I bought them at the outlet store with a 15% off coupon (go go financial savviness). Purple is my favorite color, so these were a must have! I freaking love these shoes, they're so comfortable, and I love the cute buckle on them. However, they're are in a bit of limbo right now... Early this spring, my old car (see above) began leaking anti-freeze, which is apparently a big "uh-oh" for cars, so it was off to the mechanic. It was 13-years old and was getting to the point where I was beginning to question the expense and point of continuing to fix problems with it. I was wearing these purple pretties at work when my mechanic called and told me the car was probably not worth repairing, since the head gasket had blown and it would be quite costly to fix. That afternoon, Boyfriend picked me up at my building to take me to the mechanic to get the car. As I was walking out to meet him, the pointed toe of one shoe got caught in the opposite pant leg, and I face-planted into the road... seriously, I ate pavement. Embarrassed and in pain, I jumped up immediately before he could get out of his Jeep and got into the passenger seat. As I held a crumpled napkin to my torn, bleeding chin with my equally torn, bleeding hand, I sniffled about the gravity of the situation. Boyfriend asked me if I was okay and I responded, whimpering, "My shoes... I ruined my shoes." Yes gentle readers, the toe of one and the whole side of the other were badly scuffed, and I was devastated (the less injured shoe was chosen for the picture, but you can see the wound in the first shot). I have still worn the shoes on occasion, because I love them too much not to, but I really need to find a shoe repair shop that can get them back to their former glory. The good to come out of this? I ended up buying a brand new Chevy Cruze, which I am also freaking in love with.

The Kid-Approved

This leopard print pair was bought at Target while I was on internship. Not gonna lie, they have some cute shoes there. They're a little too big and make my already above-average sized feet look like boats, but they make up for any short-comings with spunk and pizazz! Kids love them because they're so darn fun. While I was on internship, I was teaching a lesson from the Second Step program in a 2nd grade classroom. (If you have never heard of Second Step, check out that link, because the program rocks and teaches great social-emotional skills.) I was seated at the front of the room with all the kiddos around me like baby chicks, and as I was reading the story for the day, I felt a tapping and flicking at my right foot. I looked down to see that one of the boys in the room (who was classified as Autistic, go figure) was running his finger continuously along the pattern and pulling at the small heel. I silently redirected him, but he was having none of it, and continued to be fascinated with the shoe for the whole lesson. I wore these shoes to my first day at my current position and throughout the year, and to this day they continue to draw compliments and comments from students and adults alike.

The brown leather Nine West pair on the left is a more recent addition to the family. They're a very similar style to the purple pair and also have a kitten heel. I bought these because I needed a new pair of brown pumps, but also loved the metal details on the top. These, and a casual pair of flip-flop style sandal with clear jewel beading on the straps (not pictured), have caught the eye of many a student. The best comment I got about them was from a 5th grade girl who exclaimed during an intervention, "Miss _______, you got bling on your shoes!" Why yes, indeed I do. I also am a fan of these shoes because they remind me of a pair I had while completing the previously mentioned practicum. One day, I was walking around a corner in those shoes and startled a high school boy, who blinked at me and said, "You have the scariest walk." Okay, I guess I'm a little heavy footed, but there's something so satisfying and powerful about the clack of heels.

The Newbies

Okay, there really isn't a story for their of these dolls, but I couldn't help but show them off because they're awesome. I did a little back-to-school shopping today and picked both of these up from Nine West, where there's a BOGO 50% off sale, and I had another 15% off coupon (woot!). On the left we have a pair of ballet flats with a rainbow, white, and black leopard print. I've been fishing for a similar pair of rainbow print beauties for a while, but the last Nine West I looked in didn't have my size, so when I found these today I snatched them up and then gushed to the sales clerk about them. She must've thought I was deranged. On the right is a pair of kitten heel red leather pumps in a crocodile pattern. I've been dying for a pair of red pumps for all my adult life... I think it has to do with my childhood fascination with The Wizard of Oz (it was a seriously intense infatuation). After purchasing these bad boys, I texted Boyfriend "i finally have my red pumps! my journey towards the shoe dark side is now complete." (Yeah, I have an intense fascination with Star Wars too, you wanna fight about it?)

I can't wait for the new memories that come this year, from shoes new and old!

Anger Management: Indian Giver

Ms. B and I went into our most recent group session knowing it would either go great or go horribly awry. Of course, when a game is called "Out of Control," you're probably asking for trouble playing it with a bunch of emotionally disturbed boys. The purpose of the game is to make the players live by rules they have no control over, and subsequently manage their emotions/feelings. I don't have a link to the game since Ms. B found it in an activity book, but here is the description:

To play "Out of Control," wrap several small age-appropriate prizes in wrapping paper [we had things like a pencil sharpener & pencils, a Goosebumps book, a cool calculator, a mini Lego set, etc]. Get at least as many prizes as they are kids. You will also need a pair of dice. The game will be played in two parts, but only explain the first part. Let the students take turns rolling dice. When a child rolls a double [the game took too long with doubles, we used 6+ as our criteria], he chooses a prize (and does not open it) from the table and places it in front of him. If he does not roll a double, his turn is over. Play until all prizes are claimed.

For the second part, set a timer for 10 minutes [or whatever you choose based on your time limit] and tell the players that in this round, rolling a double will let them take a prize from another person. End the game when the timer goes off. Some kids will have more than one prize and others may have none.

The first round of the game went, understandably, great. Each boy picked a prize that they were happy with. When we began the second round, they were able to control themselves relatively well as their classmates "stole" their presents. The main problem was that there was one prize the boys all wanted (minus A, who was happily switching his prize back and forth with one of the unclaimed ones whenever he rolled 6+... he didn't get it). When the second round ended and the coveted prize was claimed, mild hell broke loose. All the boys were upset they didn't get it, and no one was really happy with the prizes they did end up with, since it wasn't that one. V calmly took the calculator apart and G threw the Goosebumps book. Precious. So, my biggest recommendation if you're going to replicate the game: wrap all the prizes in same size boxes, exactly the same way, so what the prize actually is gets disguised.

Because of the upset after the prizes were taken, we were unable to really process the group. Ideally, we would've asked how the boys felt when their prizes were stolen and they weren't in control, what they did to manage their anger, and if they didn't, what they could've done differently. Instead, we slinked out of the classroom while Mrs. C got the boys back on track.

First Day Woes

Today was my first day at my building with kids. Three weeks of vacation after my summer job ended led to all sorts of jitters, planning, and shopping trips (NY & Company, Banana Republic, and Target... you're welcome). Last night, I had butterflies in my stomach like I did all those years ago waiting for the first day of school as a student. It's okay, I know I'm a big ol' dork... did we not establish that in my last post with the "I loved school" comment?

After some driving around to find parking this morning (yay working in the middle of a large city!), I pulled up in front of my school. With my cell phone all charged from the drive (yay sitting in traffic for 20 minutes trying to move .5 miles!) and my big ol' "teacher bag" all packed with materials and lunch, I stepped out of my car ready to face the day. And promptly locked my keys in my bag, in my car. Yep.

I began my morning with a 30 minute phone debacle with AAA, which caused me to miss my first day of AM duty at my post on the third floor, and subsequently seeing all those bright shining faces coming in for their first day of school. However, I had some more interesting news. Over the winter, someone stole my AAA "identity" and used my account when they ran out of gas. Even better, the check they used to pay for said fuel bounced, making it appear that I defaulted on payment. Oh, and my account expired three months ago, but I was never billed for it, so I didn't know it needed to be paid. Hooray! After shelling out the cost to open a new AAA membership (they wouldn't renew my old one due to the bad payment by my doppleganger), I was back in my car within an hour, and I was able to actually start my day. Thankfully, it went swimmingly, though of course was a little wacky due to normal first day of school craziness that will be ironed out soon.

The best part of my day? Returning to my office to see that a colleague had left a beautiful flower arrangement on my desk that my boyfriend had sent for my first day. Remember when I locked my keys in my car? Naaahh... me either.