Puppies and Children: Not That Different

The day we brought Murphy home

At the end of the school year, Husband and I became "parents" to an English Springer Spaniel puppy named Murphy. Since I would be home full-time for the summer (minus 20 half days of summer school), timing couldn't have been more perfect--two weeks at home with adorable Murphy to play, snuggle, work on crate training, house breaking, and general obedience before summer school... what could be better?

LONGEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

Fave sleeping spot: under the couch

Now, don't get me wrong, I love that furry little booger. Murphy is well-behaved (aside from typical puppy behaviors like nipping and accidents) and quick to learn commands (he mastered "sit" within half a day). He is such a love bug and just wants to be with his humans, whether it's sitting directly on my feet while doing dishes or crawling onto Husband's chest while he lays on the floor. He's social and loves meeting new people in the neighborhood and other dogs. Perfect on paper.

Oh hai... rub my belly?

Reality: puppies are the worst. They are so much stinkin' work. I honestly think that raising a 10-week old human baby would be easier than a 10-week old puppy. Sure, they're freakin' precious and do totes adorbs things all the time, but you have to watch them at every moment to make sure they're not harming themselves or your things, don't come when called because they're eating a tasty mouthful gravel, will stare right at you while having an accident on your beautiful new rug (right after coming inside), lay down in the middle of the street during walks, screech-cry-bark until 2:30am in the morning because they hate their crate and want to be with you, bite you in the face while playing... etc.

Murphy : Content; Clam : Happy

Terrible hide-and-seeker

I have to say, my behaviorist training has surely helped. In undergrad, I took a semester long animal behavior lab where, among other behaviors, we taught white rats and guinea pigs to use a Skinner box for research on food hoarding behaviors. With the help of positive reinforcement and oodles of training treats, Murphy recognizes verbal commands and hand signals for "sit," "shake," "down," and is working on "come" and "stay." Lots of practice, time in the crate, and rewards for going inside means that we get to sleep the entire night with minimal (pathetic) howling when he first goes to bed. Although Murphy occasionally has accidents and doesn't consistently ask to go outside, he does his business quickly when he hears "go potty" or "go poop." In fact, I think he's manipulating me with going to the bathroom, because he'll pee 2-3 times when we go out, all the while looking at me for a treat when he finishes. Now, he only gets one treat... smarty stinker

Hoarding: Puppy Edition

Please sir... I want some more.

It's really no different than "training" kiddos to accomplish the behaviors we desire. We started by flooding Murphy with praise and treats when we first were teaching behaviors so that he would quickly learn that by doing something right, he would be rewarded. We even went more basic at first by rewarding approximate behaviors--things that were close to what we wanted, but not quite. For a student you want to stay in his seat, start with him staying a designated work area or part of the classroom, then when he has mastered that, begin rewarding for in-seat behaviors. The more you consistently reward kiddos (and puppies!) for completing desired behaviors, the less they should engage in undesirable behaviors because they're getting the reinforcement they want through positive means.

Snuggling with Husband on a car ride

We are starting to use intermittent reinforcement for some of the behaviors Murphy has down pat--he does not always receive a treat when he sits or shakes hands. Intermittent reinforcement is great because Murphy still gets rewarded, it just isn't as often and is more random, so he continues to do desired behaviors hoping for a treat. Think of it like a slot machine--it's going to hit at some point, you just don't know when, so you drop a few more nickels in and hope for the best. Intermittent reinforcement can increase resistance to extinction, meaning that if we decide to forgo any treats for mastered behaviors, Murphy is less likely to notice and will continue to do the right thing. It can work for kiddos, too! Surprise or spur of the moment reinforcement, like "caught being good" tickets or a Hershey kiss during work time, for desired behaviors can be more exciting than predictable reinforcement because students may be more attuned to what they're doing in the classroom, hoping for the possibility of a reward.

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Awkward Conversations at School, Part 2

(a warning for sexual slang terms in this post)

At our most recent Committee on Special Education (CSE) meeting day, we held a reevaluation for a young lady in 8th grade, T, who is classified as Emotionally Disturbed. Her special education teacher and Social Studies teacher, Mr. W, were in attendance. Mr. W is a distinguished African American guy in his early 30s who the students look up to as a mentor in the sense that he "got out" and "made something" of himself. He not only teaches Social Studies, but also life skills and lessons that meet the kids where they are. He's so well-spoken, I could listen to him talk all day (plus his voice is buttery smooth). But I digress...

Mr. W was telling the story about his first day back from medical leave and his first encounter with T:

Mr. W: "I was lecturing on the Civil War and how the slaves that could not escape to the North still supported the Northern soldiers in the South. I asked the class to tell me examples of this, and the students were discussing how the slaves sabotaged Confederate weapons, brought food and supplies to the Northern soldiers... all valid points. T responded, "Yeah mister, and they nutted in they food."

Me: 0_o

Mr. W: "The other students were appalled and didn't know what to say, and I have to admit, I was shocked as well..."

Social Worker, interrupting: "Wait, I'm sorry. What happened to their food?"

CSE Chairperson: "Yes, did she mean poison?"

Me (in head, hiding behind laptop): Oh no.

Mr. W: "Oh, um. [pause] Uh... they ejaculated in their food."

Social Worker and CSE Chairperson: "OH OMG!"

Sweet T, thank you for the spectacularly embarrassing laugh we all shared after that revelation. I don't think I've ever seen two naive older ladies in their 50s turn so red, though I probably shouldn't be proud of the fact that I knew it really meant. Chalk it up to experience working in the proverbial trenches! It sure broke up the exhausting monotony of a full day of CSE meetings...

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Awkward Conversations at School, Part 1

(because you know there will be more)

I love when I have experiences that are totally off the wall at work and give me gleeful bouts of laughter when I reflect on them. Yesterday, I got called down to have a conference with a student and the substitute principal, Mr. G. The student, who has never been a behavior problem and who I've never even seen before, was poking kids with a paper clip and pulled a chair out from under another student. Dangerous behaviors, and uncharacteristic, so we tried to figure out what was up. The student was tight-lipped, noncompliant, and full of crocodile tears, so it didn't go anywhere. The fun part came after the conference, when Mr. G said that he had a story to tell me. It went a little something like this (somewhat abbreviated for clarity and amusement):

Mr. G: "When I was the principal at XX Elementary, one of my kindergarten teachers brought a student into my office because the girl had punched the teacher in the stomach. I kept the girl in my office with me, talked to her, and sent her back to class after a half an hour. Not fifteen minutes later, the teacher was back because the girl had punched her again. Well, I knew this couldn't continue, so I had to suspend her. A kindergartener! When we were at the hearing for her suspension, I noticed she was acting strangely. Her eyes were looking up at the ceiling as she slouched and slid up and down in her chair. Now, I was a music teacher before I was a principal, and this girl was speaking in a voice that no child of her age and gender could naturally make. She kept groaning, 'I hate you, Miss Ray... I hate you, Miss Ray.' .... Now, I have to ask you... as a psychologist, do you believe in possession?"

Me: 0_o "Um."

Mr. G: "No, really. Do you believe in possession, do you have that faith? Because there's something wrong with that girl." [the one we had just conferenced with, who had thankfully left the room]

Ah... awkward, inappropriate conversations in the workplace. Needless to say, I booked it out of there before he started explaining any other uncomfortable and outlandish viewpoints that his music teacher expertise may have given him about behavior and mental health.

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Welcome Back, Mrs. Sh*t!

Well hello friends, it's been a while! My apologies for the long hiatus in exciting blog posts--I pretty much turned my brain off once summer hit, and I'm still in the slow process of rebooting (I feel like I'm stuck on the Blue Screen of Death). Too much sun and wedding planning!

However, I can share some stories from today, the first day back to school!

1. I got to play "QUIP" with the 6th grade 6:1+1 classroom. QUIP is a math game where you are given 3 numbers and can use only those numbers to equal values 1 to 10. For example, when given the numbers 4, 5, and 8, you do "8+5-4-4" to equal 5.

2. I'm starting the school year using my married name, so that the kiddos have extra time to adjust (wedding isn't until October). Now, my maiden name was no peach to say (one of those names that doesn't look like it's pronounced) and my married name will also be a little mouth-fumbly, and sounds like a curse word. I went into the 8th grade 15:1 class and introduced myself to a new student in the class as "Mrs. NewLastName," and the boys who helped with my Veteran's Day fundraising project giggled and replied, "Mrs. Sh*t?" Yes, you're hilarious.

3. When visiting our new 1st grade 6:1+1, one of the kiddos yelled, "Hey miss, I got a cigarette burn on my belly, look!" and lifted his shirt up. Enter conversation about how to appropriately wear our clothing in school.

4. Totally geeking out with a 4th grade boy over The Avengers. I casually mentioned to his teacher that I had some Batman and Avengers tattoos, erasers, and pencils if she wanted to send someone down for good behavior, and the young man's eyes bugged out--"WHAT? Why didn't I know about this earlier? I have an Avengers BACKPACK!" I think I have a new friend.

Day one down... days 180+ to go.

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Analyzing Your Friends: A Fun Party Trick

I'm sure that many of you, when telling others that you're a school psychologist, have encountered those folks who get nervous that you're analyzing them or are eager to tell you their problems (or they ask if you're a school counselor, whatevs). Sure, we joke and laugh, but maybe you are psychoanalyzing or evaluating them in some way unintentionally (or on purpose, I won't judge). Honestly, as psychologists, we have more insight into human behavior than the average Joe, and maybe we're scrutinizing those we meet just a little more.

For me, this means seeing dysfunction where it doesn't actually exist.

Fiance and his college roommates went as the Channel 4 News Team one year
for Halloween. He was Brian Fantana, at left, with a legit dirty mustache.

Fiance went to high school with a group of guys who are still all very close and are very happy to revert to Frat Pack silliness when they're together (think The Hangover and Anchorman bromances). One of the guys, Chewy, is a little younger than the rest and therefore often the butt of silliness. I'll begin by stating that Chewy has no mental health concerns or developmental disabilities... but that doesn't stop me from very jokingly and in no way seriously finding them (in his defense, I tease him about this often and he takes it in stride and without offense).

Thus, I bring you, Why I Think Chewy May Have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder (as substantiated by NY State Part 200 educational regulations and DSM-IV diagnostic criteria):

• Use of repetitive phrases, especially movie quotes (i.e. Anchorman, I Love You, Man, Superbad, Wedding Crashers, etc). Also, echoing statements of friends and peers for days and weeks after it was first stated (i.e. "adorable," "cupcake," "it's not not hot out," "chicks chicks chicks," "so good! so good!,") Meets Part 200 and DSM-IV criteria B3
• Encompassing preoccupation with women, or "chicks" - looking at women, chatting up women, trying to pick up women, going on dates with women. Will then work a certain girl into repetitive phrasing (i.e. "omg I love her so much," "love her, need her, Chewy," repeating the girl's name over and over). Meets Part 200 and DSM-IV criteria C1
• Use of repetitive/stereotyped gestures and poses, which often coincide with said repetitive phrases (i.e. pumping his arms in the air above his head while squatting and cheering, "It's free!"; flicking his wrist and fingers while stating, "Obviously.")  Meets Part 200 and DSM-IV criteria C3
• Adheres to routines in most weekend locales, food, and drink (i.e. same group of watering holes, vodka tonics, Bud Light Limes, Raspberry BBQ chicken wings). Meets Part 200 criteria

Actual diagnosis/classification: typical mid-20 something male. But super psychologist me sees a little bit of the Autism spectrum, for amusement's sake.

Please tell me I'm not the only one. :)

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Why Working in Education is Like "The Walking Dead"

I have decided to devote this post to the somewhat-reaching-but-very-pop-culturally-relevant topic of zombies. No, not the Miami Zombie (shudder), but The Walking Dead. If you remember, Fiance and I are kind of dorks (as if an entire post about my shoes, complete with Wizard of Oz and Star Wars references wasn't enough for you). One of our good friends from undergrad is a comic book king, and he sparked our interest in The Walking Dead as it made its move from graphic novel to TV. We were instantly hooked. I mean, c'mon, the opening scene of the series is just creepy perfection. 

Anyhoo, I recently got a copy of the first compendium of the graphic novel from our building mental health counselor, and on my evening bike ride tonight, I made a pretty out-there and wacky thought comparison about how The Walking Dead relates to working in education. Hear me out on this one.

Some of the cast of The Walking Dead. From left: Shane (w/ big gun), Glenn, Carl, Rick, Dale. 

There's a great ensemble of characters. Rick, the main character, is the every-man who tries to be the stand-up leader of the group, but has his flaws. He's stubborn and sticks to what he thinks is right, but it often isn't what works or would be best. He always wants to do what's right, and the other survivors look to him. He's a great allegory for a building principal--perhaps not always making the best decisions, but working with the staff to try and make things right. Carl is an idealistic kid trying to survive the zombie apocalypse, learning more and more every day about reality and survival. First year teacher, anyone?   Glenn is a master at navigating around the now decimated Atlanta, dodging zombies and other survivors personalities while keeping an enthusiasm for life and providing comic relief. He reminds me of a master veteran teacher at our building, who in the midst of a terrible day, will still crack a joke and smile. Shane is the antagonist for the first two seasons, and as Rick's former police partner, they butt heads in a rather violent way as Shane tries to derail a lot of the good that Rick tries to put up. There's always one in every building going against the grain. Dale is the moral compass of the group and doesn't hesitate to call people out on mistakes in judgement. He's a little spacey, but always watchful, kind, and friendly. Perhaps a guidance counselor or advocate for children, in a former life. Not pictured above is Daryl, a tough, loner guy who takes no crap, is an excellent survivalist, and is loyal to what he thinks is right (he is also a stellar marksman with a crossbow). He's the teacher in the corner classroom whose class is never rowdy. 

Zombies. Duh. Whether it's feeling like a zombie on Monday or mid-June or the students being especially monstrous, schools and The Walking Dead have zombies! To get metaphorical about zombies, the undead hordes could represent a whole mess of oppressive things that just keep looking for brains to eat: looming budget cuts; NCLB; standardized testing; no time and too much to do; bureaucracy, etc. There's always something creeping up around the corner behind you, waiting to jump up and bite you in the shoulder.

Braaaaiiinnnsss

But that's why the great ensemble is... great! In the face of the zombie apocalypse, you've got a whole group of survivors to watch your back. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and everyone plays of each other. Are there attitudes, big personalities, people that disagree, and shoot outs in the woods? Yes (except maybe that last part). But at the end of the day, it's a group of people working towards a common goal: surviving the zombie apocalypse.

Oh, and educating America's youth. Can't forget that part.

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Don't Laugh at Me

I recently evaluated a little kiddo who was a rather interesting case. Here's an excerpt of the email I sent to the receiving psychologist at the building that Y will be moving to:

Y is an interesting kiddo. He's a very caring, sweet young fella with impulse control issues. Although he's sensitive and very eager to please adults, he's kind of on another planet. He has a great rote understanding of expectations, but his social skills are really low. He doesn't understand how to engage peers appropriately, and because he's so impulsive, he might hit, poke, or become a nuisance because he doesn't know any better. He hit really high on measures of ADHD and Autism; it was hard for me to tease out which was more handicapping. 

I recommended a classification of Other Health Impaired due to the significant impulsive and inattentive behaviors, characteristic of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and made note in Y's file to monitor the symptoms of Autism, as a change in classification may be necessary as he gets older. We found placement for him in a 12:1+1 class.

I also included in my email to my psychologist friend a great kiddo story, which I shall share in long form with you now. Get ready!

Y came down last week after having a negative interaction with a peer. He sat down with Ms. B (my fantastic co-worker and co-facilitator of last year's social skills/anger management group) to talk the situation out, discuss choices that were made, and better choices for the future. Y explained that a peer had physically maligned him in some way (might've been a hit or kick, I don't remember), and Ms. B asked Y what he said when it happened. Y, in his rather precious impulsive robot stutter, began to sing:

Don't laugh at me.

Don't call me names.

Don't get your pleasure from my pain.

We blinked, smiled, hid chuckles and "awws" behind our hands (well, we didn't want to laugh at him, did we?). We were rather surprised and amused. You kind of had to be there, but it's now one of those things that we bring up out of the blue when everyone is silent and productive, causing the entire office gleeful merriment. 

Turns out, "Don't Laugh at Me" is a song by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Our music teacher from last year taught the younger grades the song during one of her folky guitar sing-a-long sessions. And, as we discovered in a post-lunch stroke of genius, it also turns out that I had a CD with a copy of the song on it, much to the amusement of my office mates. They did, indeed, laugh at me.

Early last year, I ordered a copy of the Don't Laugh at Me Program from Operation Respect. It's a great concept, with a VHS tape and CD of lessons and pro-respect music, as well as a paper lesson guide with good ideas for small groups. What the program lacks, personally, is application for the urban setting in which I work. Unfortunately, Peter, Paul, and Mary songs will not be relateable or effective for the majority of my little ones, and certainly not many people of any demographic over the age of 7. However, it would definitely be possible for me to pick and choose a few lessons if I wanted to use them in small groups. Plus, it's free, so go check it out!

What's that? You want to hear Y's sweet jam? How could I say no!

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If Pancakes Increase Attendance, Call Me Aunt Jemima

Our district is on a big push to increase attendance, and with startling drop-out and graduation rates, rightly so! Attendance has implications in so many areas of school that targeting poor attending students in the lower grades is critical. If they don't have a strong school connection by the time high school comes around, it can be much more difficult to get students to come to school.

In our building, we have two initiatives going on right now to promote attendance, and they're really making a different. What's the game changer? Food. Remember how I suggested having snacks or a meal on family nights at school, to encourage families to attend? It works for kiddos too!

Our first, and most successful, endeavor thus far has been "Breakfast Club." We targeted first grade students who were "chronic" non-attendees, meaning that they have missed up to 19% of the days of school thus far, leaving us with about 15 students. For the month of February, they were invited to attend Breakfast Club on Monday mornings if they came to school, where they would get special breakfast treats (like uber large cinnamon buns, nom nom) in a special room with some of our Student Support staff. On the other days of the week, a mentor checks in with them in the morning to congratulate them on coming to school and gives them a sticker. If they came to school for the entire week, they got a regular sized candy bar on Friday. During February, we saw attendance at Breakfast Club climb from 4 students (who remarked the whole thing was "weird" as they sat and stared at each other eating muffins), to 8, then 11 for the last two Mondays.

In March, we are continuing the program, but have moved Breakfast Club to Tuesdays. Now, students must attend Monday and Tuesday to be invited to their special breakfast. As the school year closes up, the day of Breakfast Club will be moved one day later every month, ending in June with it being held on Fridays. Students will be expected to attend every day prior to Breakfast Club to be allowed to attend. So far, so good! The kiddos look forward to Breakfast Club each week, and on their way up to class, have stopped adults and even the principal to tell them about their special treats.

Our other, shiny and new, program is another breakfast party (who doesn't love breakfast food, I always say). In February, we tracked the homerooms to see who had the best attendance for the whole month. This was some serious business, as it involved algorithms and advanced math beyond my comprehending. We had to make sure that no class was being penalized for having 25 students vs. 6, and that the one kid who's come to school for 4 days this whole year didn't bring his whole class down. In the end, the person calculating did some fancy average of the days possible, days missed, and number of students in the class. One of our third grade classes came out on top and won a stellar pancake breakfast.

Mmm... green.

Right before St. Patrick's Day, they had their pancakes, and we went all out. We decorated the cafeteria with balloons and table cloths, set out place settings, got scented special pencils for each student, griddled up some flapjacks, and provided a myriad of tasty toppings. Not only did we have regular pancakes, but there were also chocolate chip and GREEN pancakes. If colored pancakes don't get a kid to come to school, something is wrong. Add in the fact that kiddos could top their pancakes with bananas, chocolate chips, green sprinkles, whipped cream, syrup, and chocolate sauce, you've got a recipe for perfect attendance (and diabetes).

We had a blast, and the kids did too. Their faces lit up when they came down to the cafeteria in the morning and they were giddy the entire breakfast. I'm sure that they went back upstairs and told evvvverybody how great the treat was, which will hopefully get some more kiddos enticed to come to school. I've got a whole box of food coloring waiting for them.


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Excuse Me, I Believe You Have My Chair

The last week before February break was an uber test-a-thon for me. I was on a mad dash to finish testing four kiddos before the time off, with the aspiration to work on reports over break, and be ahead of schedule for my March 1st CSE meetings (ha).

The last IQ test I had to give before sweet freedom was with a fifth grade kiddo with comorbid Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He was being evaluated as an initial eligibility case, due to continued behavioral and academic difficulty within an Integrated Co-Teaching classroom as a general education student. During cognitive testing, he was very cooperative (achievement testing was utterly the opposite, woah), but highly active. We tested in an unused classroom/meeting room, and upon entry, he immediately launched himself at the spinning office chair. Normally I take it, but I gave him the caveat that he could sit in it as long as he was appropriate and able to get the work done. He agreed.

No lie, the kid spun himself in a circle for the duration of the IQ test, except when he had to look at pictures or write. He would lean back with his eyes close and use one foot to keep the chair spinning. Normally, I'd put the kabosh on that immediately, because I need kids to focus to get accurate test results. You'd think he'd be totally off-task and infatuated with the chair, but he continued to answer questions very eloquently and quickly. Believe it or not, when he wasn't moving, he actually had a harder time concentrating!

At the end of the assessment, I was gathering up my things and making small talk with him, and he stood up, remarking, "Oh. I think I'm going to puke."

...really? Really? You think? Kid, you just spun for an hour and a half, I'm surprised you didn't wear a hole in the floor, let alone lose your bland and ambiguous school lunch.

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Currently...

Stole this idea from Tabitha over at Scrapbook of a School Counselor since I thought it was a great way to give a snapshot of my day. Enjoy this peak into my world...

Listening: to Mumford & Sons quietly on my iPhone while typing up results from yesterday's testing sessions. I have to be careful when "Little Lion Man" is playing, as kiddos like to pop into my office without warning. Can't taint their little ears with inappropriate language, though I'm sure they use or hear worse.

Loving: the Peachberry Jasmine Sutra tea I bought at Teavana. OMG... so delicious. The only thing that makes this frustrating is that the thermos I bought there is so good, it keeps the tea hot enough to burn my face off every time I want to indulge. My taste buds thank you.

Thinking: of venturing into the main office to check my mailbox, which typically ends up with me getting a message to call a parent, see a kid, go to this classroom, etc. Perhaps I'll stay in my psychologist cave until I get these 14 reports written. Ha!

Wanting: my desk phone to be fixed. It's been broken since September, and how that occurred I have no idea, since it worked all last year and during the summer. I've asked our chief engineer about 42 times to have it fixed, and have also reported it to the building committee twice, but no luck thus far. It's a surprising inconvenience to have to get up and cross the room to answer the phone off the main line... apparently, I'm super lazy.

Needing: to use the restroom. Enjoy that TMI tidbit. Isn't it awful when you're so busy that it seems like a hassle to leave your desk to take care of basic needs? Since this whole state review started, my workload has gone through the roof. A colleague actually joked to a special education supervisor at our district office that I'm getting bladder infections because I'm too overloaded to leave the office (false, but funny).

Stalking: the first grade classrooms, waiting to get back intervention records and data for a few kiddos I have coming through for eligibility determination meetings this month. They're all a little wack-a-doodle, so the more data, the better, so I can make an appropriate decision for them.

And there you have it... a caffeine, British folk rock, ADHD-induced snapshot of this Super Psychologist. Back to your regularly scheduled programming, and this type-a-thon for me!

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And in This Corner...

Since it was requested by a follower of my Facebook page, I shall recount the tale of the time I broke up my first fist fight. You'd think this would've happened long ago knowing the potential my building has for insanity, but no, it was today. At 3:30, on a Friday. (Side note: doesn't everything insane seem to happen on a Friday after 3:00?)

K came down to my office at the end of the day because she had a bad interaction with a peer during specials. Kudos to her for removing herself from the situation, first off. She said she needed to cool down, so we went on a walk to collect my kiddos' Check-in, Check-out scores for the day. She said that the peer was bothering her and "running his mouth," but she didn't want to fight him and get suspended anymore. Second Kudos... good decision, girlfriend. Insert me reciting my "keep your hands to yourself" mantra and giving her a pep talk. K has shown good decision-making skills in the past, but has a hot mess temper. Save this for future reference.

We made a few stops, got a few high fives from some younger kiddos, and made our way to her classroom. K participates in the backpack program through the local Food Bank, so she needed to grab her things for dismissal and go pick up her backpack, since it's Friday. Upon entering the room, the proverbial switch flipped and all hell broke loose. Someone had thrown everything out of K's desk and left it scattered all over the floor. She was convinced that the peer she had issues with earlier had done it. (Side note: if you were the class's substitute teacher today, and knew that K was having an "off" day, you wouldn't have tried to save yourself and the kids from the coming onslaught by cleaning the mess up? Apparently not.)

Insert rather colorful, imaginative, and overall impressive cursing from K's glossy lips. I swear, this girl was coming up with good ones. My favorite was the comments about the peer's sexuality and the heavily repeated "n***** p***y b****." Third Kudos for creativity, which is inappropriate on my part. The substitute started instigating her behavior from her position at the front of the room (which she never moved from during the entire ordeal), which was totally helpful. As K got in the other boy's face and I tried to intervene, another kid actually got up out of his seat at the front of the room, grinning, and found a better vantage point to watch what might ensue. Fourth kudos to him for being ballsy, though I looked at him and monotoned, "Not a good idea."

I physically herded K to the doorway of the classroom, trying to get her to get her things from her locker, get her to her backpack, and get out of there. For a glimmer of a moment, I thought we had diverted the crisis. It was short-lived. One bazinga of a comment came from the other boy from inside the room, and K kicked off her shoes. (Side note: loss of shoes is the best indicator that you know it's about to go down... and the tiny voice in my head said, "Oh s***, it's on.")

I grabbed K around the chest to hold her back, but damn, that chick was strong and kept after the boy (who was like, 6 ft. tall by the way). Halfway through the struggle, as I was getting punched/clawed in the holding arm and screamed obscenities in both ears, I realized a few things:

1. Kids come out of the freakin' woodwork when there's a fight. I swear I looked over and saw kindergarteners and first graders watching, who are on the other side of the school and down a floor.
2. Today was a bad day to wear boots that need the rubber grippy nub on the heel replaced. I almost bit it and had visions of being trampled by pre-teens.
3. It's pretty ironic that I was writing a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) for K this morning, thinking how she probably wouldn't need a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) because her behavior is managed well by her teacher and the structure of the classroom.

Two teachers from next door came over to help, one grabbed K and pulled her out of the mess and down the hall, and the other shooed the onlookers back to their classrooms to pack up (Side note: they continued to creep in the hallway). K needed to be held, struggling, for about five minutes until she could calm down and stop calling the boy a "f****** p***y b****" and saying she was going to break his face. The principal came up, spoke to both kids, and I dragged K to her bus.

Needless to say, I didn't finished my Check-in, Check-out for the afternoon. Happy Friday!

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Holiday Wishes for Mental Health Professionals

Just got this in an email through my district's psychologist email group and I simply had to share. Happy holidays everyone! Expect a couple good case study posts next week from the comfort of my couch. :)

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:

Schizophrenia--Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder--We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Amnesia--I Don't Know if I'll Be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic--Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic--Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and
Paranoid--Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
Personality Disorder--You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
Borderline Personality Disorder--Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-- Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells
Agoraphobia--I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
Autistic--Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock
Senile Dementia--Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
Oppositional Defiant Disorder--I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
Social Anxiety Disorder--Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

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Thriller!

One of my favorite parts about the Halloween season (seeing as every holiday is becoming it's own 2-month ordeal, these days) is all the scary stuff on TV. Fiance and I spend our Wednesdays watching Ghost Hunters and American Horror Story on FX. I remember being younger and watching Michael Jackson's "Thriller" music video on MTV with my dad around Halloween.

One of my first grade friends, and former blog star, H has been having some trouble in the classroom. H is diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and has great difficulty in loud, chaotic environments. Almost daily she has crying breakdowns because her classroom can be so overwhelming and overstimulating. Our school increased class sizes significantly this year, so H went from a kindergarten classroom of about 20 kiddos to a first grade classroom with about 28 (and some are rather... rambunctious). H has a lot of difficulty with yelling and lots of noise, so we decided to try having her wear headphones during instruction to help block out some of the noise.

(I swear I'm about to make the connection, hang on!)

H walked into my office this afternoon to have lunch with one of the mental health graduate interns, wearing her headphones, which for some reason have a microphone attached to them (not sure why it wasn't removed). H was holding the microphone to her mouth and stopped to say, in her adorable, rote, robotic voice tone, "Hi, it's me, H. Wait, I'm not H, I'm Michael Jackson!"

I almost want to bring in a sparkly glove for her. Too much?

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Cuteness of the Day: Pictures from Kids

Who doesn't love getting pictures drawn by kiddos? I decorate the front and side of my desk and file cabinet with gifties like these... they make me smile.

From right: me, kiddo, and kiddo's dad, perhaps wearing a poncho carrying a rake. FYI I am not eating a cloud, I erased his name. I would also like you to take note of my superior sense of style: yellow and orange are in this year.

Kiddo's second giftie. His printing is excellent for a first grader, no OT issues here! He also colors in the lines better than I do. Sad face.

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You Can Ring My Bell

Staff reported today, and it was great to see my staffy friends! Lots of people were moved either in, out, or around my building, so there are lots of new assignments and grade level changes. Everyone seems to have those back-to-school jitters in the anticipation of seeing how the new school year goes. Love it!

I have a relatively twisted sense of humor, so I find things funny that most people don't. During my opening day chat today, I wanted to tell my co-workers that our CSE chairperson is out on medical leave, so they would be up to speed and know to come to me or Ms. B with any questions or concerns. Here's how it went:

Me: "You're probably wondering why Ms. B and I are up here and not MB. [somber face] MB went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and during a procedure, the doctor found a tumor in her colon that was cancerous...
**school bell system chimes through entire auditorium and cuts out my microphone, mid-serious talk**
Staff: "*GASP!* murmur, chatter, gasp, 'oh dear'"
Me: "... that was probably the worst timed interruption ever."

Hilarious, right?! No? Do I just enjoy awkward humor too much?

Regardless of the inconsiderate bell system, the rest of the opening day activities went well. Can't WAIT to see the kiddos tomorrow! I'm so glad that giddy, back to school feeling arrived.


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These Shoes Were Made for...

I'm going to digress from my typical school psych-y goodness to bring you this announcement:

I love shoes.

I wear heels to work virtually every day so I don't look like a 4th grader, since I'm practically 5'-nothing. I'm not the kind of gal who will splurge on a pair of kicks only to wear them a few times. I wear shoes into the ground, 'til I'm covering up scratches and smudges with Sharpie marker. I'm not the kind of gal who saves pennies (or blows a paycheck) for a pair of designer pumps I've been eyeing for months on end. I buy what catches my eye and heart, but stays within my budget... and I love a good coupon or sale. I'm not the kind of gal that sticks to conservative, ultra-fashionable (hah) footwear. I love color, patterns, prints, and bling!

A sampling of my favorites. Also, aren't my hardwood floors gorgeous?

I have a strange attachment to my shoes. Each pair tells a story and has a special meaning or memory for me and my career. Isn't it funny how we not only imprint memories to sounds and tastes, but also to clothes and shoes? Join me for an adventure down the rabbit hole and into my closet!

The Professionals

This black pair are from Bass Co. and are made of suede, so they're lovely and soft. They've gotten a lot of love, as you can see from the slight crack on the side. I wore these black beauties to my final internship interview. Every interview prior to that one had been unsuccessful and I was especially antsy before going because this site was my top choice for an internship (and, surprise, another large urban district). I was doing internship interviews in the winter and had been wearing black ankle boots with my black pant suit, but decided to switch up the footwear to these suede pumps. Mentally owing something to the shoes (I always feel like a powerhouse in good pumps... fear me), I walked into the interview feeling confident, and it went fantastically. It was the first interview I had a really good feeling about; there was great conversation with the panel and I felt like I nailed every question. I went away shortly after for the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) Conference in Boston and when I returned, I had the position. It was the absolute BEST internship I could've asked for!

The navy blue pair were purchased to match the navy blue skirt suit I bought when I graduated with my MA/AC to prepare for "real job" interviews. They're a no name brand from JC Penney's with a snakeskin pattern wrap over the toe. These shoes have a habit of destroying the back of my heels if I don't wear stockings with them, which I prefer not to do, so they don't get too much use. The first interview I wore these to was for a district in the southern tier of NY virtually in the middle of nowhere. It was a 50 minute drive on a blistering hot day in June and the air conditioning in my crappy old car was broken, so I drove in full professional gear and perfect hair and make-up with all the windows down going 60 mph the whole way. I was a hot mess upon arrival. Next, I wore these to interview for a position in the district where I did one of my practica. There's a lot of back story to this situation, but let's leave it at I was practically guaranteed this position as I would've been replacing my former supervisor. I didn't get it and had the blistered, broken heels and ego to prove it. They traveled with me later that month to an interview a couple hours away, where I discovered I was not a fan of what the district and interview team (which was uh, one person) turned out to be. Finally, these went with me to the mass interview day for my current district. As we know, that was a happy ending, so they were part of the celebration dinner that Boyfriend and I had out downtown once the papers were signed.

The Nose-Dive

These leather shoes were my first "fun" purchase after getting my current position. They're from Nine West and I bought them at the outlet store with a 15% off coupon (go go financial savviness). Purple is my favorite color, so these were a must have! I freaking love these shoes, they're so comfortable, and I love the cute buckle on them. However, they're are in a bit of limbo right now... Early this spring, my old car (see above) began leaking anti-freeze, which is apparently a big "uh-oh" for cars, so it was off to the mechanic. It was 13-years old and was getting to the point where I was beginning to question the expense and point of continuing to fix problems with it. I was wearing these purple pretties at work when my mechanic called and told me the car was probably not worth repairing, since the head gasket had blown and it would be quite costly to fix. That afternoon, Boyfriend picked me up at my building to take me to the mechanic to get the car. As I was walking out to meet him, the pointed toe of one shoe got caught in the opposite pant leg, and I face-planted into the road... seriously, I ate pavement. Embarrassed and in pain, I jumped up immediately before he could get out of his Jeep and got into the passenger seat. As I held a crumpled napkin to my torn, bleeding chin with my equally torn, bleeding hand, I sniffled about the gravity of the situation. Boyfriend asked me if I was okay and I responded, whimpering, "My shoes... I ruined my shoes." Yes gentle readers, the toe of one and the whole side of the other were badly scuffed, and I was devastated (the less injured shoe was chosen for the picture, but you can see the wound in the first shot). I have still worn the shoes on occasion, because I love them too much not to, but I really need to find a shoe repair shop that can get them back to their former glory. The good to come out of this? I ended up buying a brand new Chevy Cruze, which I am also freaking in love with.

The Kid-Approved

This leopard print pair was bought at Target while I was on internship. Not gonna lie, they have some cute shoes there. They're a little too big and make my already above-average sized feet look like boats, but they make up for any short-comings with spunk and pizazz! Kids love them because they're so darn fun. While I was on internship, I was teaching a lesson from the Second Step program in a 2nd grade classroom. (If you have never heard of Second Step, check out that link, because the program rocks and teaches great social-emotional skills.) I was seated at the front of the room with all the kiddos around me like baby chicks, and as I was reading the story for the day, I felt a tapping and flicking at my right foot. I looked down to see that one of the boys in the room (who was classified as Autistic, go figure) was running his finger continuously along the pattern and pulling at the small heel. I silently redirected him, but he was having none of it, and continued to be fascinated with the shoe for the whole lesson. I wore these shoes to my first day at my current position and throughout the year, and to this day they continue to draw compliments and comments from students and adults alike.

The brown leather Nine West pair on the left is a more recent addition to the family. They're a very similar style to the purple pair and also have a kitten heel. I bought these because I needed a new pair of brown pumps, but also loved the metal details on the top. These, and a casual pair of flip-flop style sandal with clear jewel beading on the straps (not pictured), have caught the eye of many a student. The best comment I got about them was from a 5th grade girl who exclaimed during an intervention, "Miss _______, you got bling on your shoes!" Why yes, indeed I do. I also am a fan of these shoes because they remind me of a pair I had while completing the previously mentioned practicum. One day, I was walking around a corner in those shoes and startled a high school boy, who blinked at me and said, "You have the scariest walk." Okay, I guess I'm a little heavy footed, but there's something so satisfying and powerful about the clack of heels.

The Newbies

Okay, there really isn't a story for their of these dolls, but I couldn't help but show them off because they're awesome. I did a little back-to-school shopping today and picked both of these up from Nine West, where there's a BOGO 50% off sale, and I had another 15% off coupon (woot!). On the left we have a pair of ballet flats with a rainbow, white, and black leopard print. I've been fishing for a similar pair of rainbow print beauties for a while, but the last Nine West I looked in didn't have my size, so when I found these today I snatched them up and then gushed to the sales clerk about them. She must've thought I was deranged. On the right is a pair of kitten heel red leather pumps in a crocodile pattern. I've been dying for a pair of red pumps for all my adult life... I think it has to do with my childhood fascination with The Wizard of Oz (it was a seriously intense infatuation). After purchasing these bad boys, I texted Boyfriend "i finally have my red pumps! my journey towards the shoe dark side is now complete." (Yeah, I have an intense fascination with Star Wars too, you wanna fight about it?)

I can't wait for the new memories that come this year, from shoes new and old!

Do You Like My Hat?

I've spent 3.5 of the past 6 days in trainings... sitting in a window-less conference room, breathing in 70 other colleagues carbon dioxide, wondering where the "airplane smell" is coming from (are they pumping it through the ducts?) while counting down the minutes til lunchtime. Needless to say, not the most splendid time (though the trainings were informative and useful, for the most part).

Here's a testing tidbit to brighten my (and your) evening. I was giving a kindergartener a perceptual reasoning task last week, and we were on a subtest where she had to match a picture to complete a visual matrix. In plain language, it's like a visual analogy: here's a dog and a doghouse, a fish and... what matches? Anyway, we arrived at an item that had a variety of hats and the kiddo perked up. "Oh, I know this one. It's a pimp hat!" she said, pointing to a wide-brimmed hat.

Game, set, match, young lady. I'll be over here, giggling.

ABCs

I've spent all day in mind-numbing CSE meetings, which have totally worn me out. Come Monday, there will still be a pile of paperwork to finish in order to set up all these students' Individualize Education Plans (IEPs). Note to self: never schedule a full day of CSE meetings for a Friday!

I plan on writing another blog post about one of today's cases later, since it was an interesting one, but I have to share this gem. Normally, I share cute/amusing things kids have said or done, but today, I come bearing a nugget of amusement from teachers.

One of the students we classified today is behind academically because she has never attended school before this year and has SEVERE speech difficulties (like, I could only understand 45% of what she said during the evaluation). The student is functioning at a kindergarten level (which makes sense, since she never attended kindergarten and is now muddling through 1st grade), cannot recite numbers to 100, and does not have the sound-symbol knowledge to make words. When my colleague was discussing her achievement testing and showing her teachers and speech therapist that the child wrote down random letters when attempting to make a sentence, there were gasps from the three educators. While I thought they were blown away by how poor her writing was, I was mistaken...

"Oh my goodness, look at that! Those are actual letters!"
"She wrote in a straight line! The spacing is so much better!"
"Her writing is so neat! Look at how small and well-formed her letters are!"

Sometimes, you have to take the small miracles, even when you're looking at something that makes no sense.

Tell Me How You Really Feel

I was called to respond to a runner who we deal with frequently. S is in first grade and is having a hard time emotionally adjusting to the demands of the class (although since it's April, he should be over this by now, right?). S tantrums, leaves the room, and scream-cries when things don't go his way or he doesn't have someone with him constantly in the classroom, despite being very capable academically. In one such instance, this real conversation from the trenches took place:

S-- "[sniffle, sob] Miss ____ ... [sniff] can I [snuffle, choke] tell you [sob, sniff] something? [sob, swipe hand over snotty nose]"
Me--"[sigh] Sure, S. What is it?"
S-- "[stone faced, clear-voiced, eyes narrowed] I HATE YOU!"
Me-- "[trying to keep a Serious Face] I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe we can talk about it when you're calm and sitting in your seat."
S-- [epic pouting face, more crocodile tears]

Is it wrong that I found the whole thing utterly hilarious?

Note: This is not S. This is munchkin whose picture I stole off The Googs.

Pride

The following quote from a local newspaper sums up my undergraduate experience perfectly:

"The... bond is arguably tighter than at most schools. There's no med school, no research facility, no nearby big city to escape to. The glue that binds students through frigid winters is equal parts academic, basketball and beer. That's why a horde of alumni stay in touch long after their paths diverge." - Donn Esmonde

This weekend is Alumni Weekend and Boyfriend (who is also an alum) and I will be going to visit, along with my dad, his girlfriend, and her son, who is going for a college visit. To kick off Alumni Weekend, alumni across the country were called to celebrate "Pride Day," and wear clothing with the school name and/or colors.

Being the proud alumna that I am, I chose a sweatshirt with the school name emblazened across my chest (this coincided nicely with "dress down Friday"). First thing this morning on the way to breakfast, a first grader asks me, "What's wrong with your uniform?" Guess my lack of "teacher clothes" threw him off.